A tita texted me asking if Wendy could be one of the flower girls in a wedding she was organizing. I told her no problem with me, but I’d have to ask Wendy first.

Wendy’s reply?

“Ayoko na Mama. I’m already TOOOOO old to be a flower girl!!!” [emphasis on the too]

Sniff sniff!

So soon? Girl, you’re only nine! If I had my way, I’d still be a flower girl!

I turn nostalgic when I see these pictures. After all, aren’t we moms proud when our little girls walk the aisle wearing those cute dresses and carrying bouquets of flowers?

Probably Wendy’s last appearance as a flower girl: at my sister’s wedding last June 20, 2009

In reality, Wendy isn’t really into those flower girl stuff (she considers herself more boyish than girlish). She is actually living out my dream, after all I’ve been a flower girl only twice in my entire life! Yung isa pa doon sa yaya ko, and I fell out of a chair pa! Not one of my fondest memories. So I take my joy in watching Wendy being a flower girl. She’s been a flower girl more than a dozen times, half of which I forced her. He he! But she sometimes admits she enjoys being a flower girl too, especially if she knows her co-flower girls.

But now, an era has ended. Such a sad day indeed.

[I wrote this entry last week, supposedly in time for Mother's day. However, because of the hacking incident, I wasn't able to publish it. Not wanting my writing to go to waste, I am publishing it now. I know it's not too late to greet all mothers, especially my friends.]

*******

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried payments in my field, since the payment is full love.

Mildred B. Vermont

The first time I knew I was a “different” kind of mother was when Wendy was starting to walk. While other mothers patiently follow their children, with arms ready to catch their child if they should stumble, all I did was watch from a distance. I rarely ran over to help Wendy stand up when she fell. I let her discover the skill of walking on her own. Yes, mean me, I let her stumble, I let her fall. But you know what? Looking back, I realize that she learned to walk real fast!

Through the years, I noticed some weird way in the way I was a mother. I let Wendy play in the grass, in the dirt, in the rain. I stopped sterilizing her bottles when she was just months old! I let her drink tap water. I don’t let her drink medicine for such simple sickness like coughs and cold. And lately, when she was older, whenever she tells me “Mama, ayoko na mag-school,” I would respond, “Ok. Next year di ka na mag-e-enrol.” And at such a young age, I already let her be independent. Cases in point: ever since she was in kinder, she prepares for school by herself; and whenever she has a regimen for her skin allergy (eg, lotion first, then a topical medication, then another topical medication,then an oral medication, in that order), she does it by herself. I often refuse to fuss over her.

And to think that Wendy is an only child.

Some might view this as neglect and say, ano ba namang klaseng nanay yan? I would like to stress that it is not. I love Wendy very much and this is my way of being a mother to her.

I guess that one of the most important things I learned in my being a mother for 9 years [such a short time compared with millions of mothers] is that NO ONE should tell you how to raise your child. There are no black and white rules for being a mother [or a parent]. There might be guides and well-meaning people, but at the end of the day, we are the ones raising our children, and we are responsible for them. We eventually choose how to raise them.

There are different kinds of mothers: the loving, gentle one; the firm, disciplining one…the overprotective…the “parang kabarkada ko lang ang mother” ko type…the type you are ashamed of [remember when you were a teenager, when you don't want to be associate with your mom?]…the cool one…the loud type…the domesticated one…and many others.

However, no matter what kind of a mother you are, who will be the one your child will run to whenever he/she runs into trouble? Who will there to stay up late when your child is sick? Who will be there for your child’s first heartache and to wipe away the tears? Who will be the proudest person when your child achieves something? Who will be the one to love your child unconditionally? YOU! You know why? Because deep in the core of your being, you are a mother.

So now, whenever I see Wendy doing well in school, being nice to other people, or carrying out the values I try to instill in her, I feel satisfied with my being a mother. And whenever she tells me, every day and every night, that she loves me, I know I’m doing the right thing.

I’ll be gone for the weekend, so allow me to greet all mothers:

Nag level-up nako…as a mother, that is!

Why? I survived Wendy’s first camp away from home!

This year, our neighborhood organized a bonfire and camp-out for kids to “meet” Easter, ending with an Easter egg hunt the next morning. When Wendy asked for permission if she could sleep at the campsite, just two streets away (ironically, where I and my friends used to have camp-outs during our days), I was hesitant. Am I ready?

All the signs were in favor: the place is relatively safe, the kids will all sleep in one tent [under the supervision of "elders"], the organizers were kababatas who I knew I could trust, and it would be a night full of fun!

The only “con” was me.

In the end, I said yes, much to Wendy’s delight [and to my apprehension].

Funny thing was, as I making all these bilins to one of my kababatas, with the usual banter, “James, kaisa-isa ko yan ha! Pag may nangyari dyan patay ka sakin!” my friend retorted, “Uuy…dati ikaw namimilit! Now you know kung ano nararamdaman nila tita noon!”

Yes, now I know. Admittedly, I was layas as a kid [in other words, batang kalye]. And now I am thinking, am I reaping what I sowed? [This is one of the reasons I was reluctant to say no. I had too much fun as a kid doing these things. Was I going to deprive Wendy of such happiness?]

I spent an anxious night, and I barely slept. But as Wendy got home this morning with a big smile on her face, telling me all her stories and saying how much fun she has had, I knew it was all worth it.

Next time, I know I wouldn’t be too hesitant regarding these activities. Here’s to more camping!

Have a blessed Easter everyone!

KG: Wendy, ano gusto mo prize for doing [really] well in school?

Wendy [her eyes sparkling]: Dalawang twister!

Tell me, if I am not one lucky mother for having a daughter who not only does so well in school but also wants “cheap” prizes (before, it was burger steak from Jollibee), then I don’t know what I am!

Thank God my daughter’s first love is food! Her happiness comes with a minimal price tag!

So excuse me, I’m off to KFC to buy my daughter’s prize!

Someday, when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them. Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world!

While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.

She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what’s wrong with the world today. It just doesn’t have enough mean moms!

(Taken from an e-mail to me)

*****

Touche!

PS, Belated happy birthday to my mother, who, for all intents and purposes, fits the above-mentioned description. For that, I thank her with all my heart. And you know what, I think I’m also becoming a Mean Mom!

Christmas 2009

Dear Santa Claus,

I really, really, really want a Bratz Beauty Doll and a Baby Alive. But kung hindi nyo kaya gawin o bilhin ang mga wish ko, ok lang. Kung hindi nyo na lang po kaya, wish ko na lang po walang maging bad sa amin at lahat kami maging happy. Thank you!

Wendy

Gosh! It’s so hard to be Santa!

**********

PS, It’s great to be back, although I feel super bitin ang bakasyon! Will make kwento soon! And I do hope to visit your sites soon also!

Anyway, I would like to remind you guys that you have around 5 days to submit your entries to my contest! Allow me to be Santa Claus for a while and do join!!!

I seldom get on the rides in theme parks. I find them too scary, to be honest about it. But who needs these rides when I have my own roller coaster at home?

One night, as we went to sleep, Wendy was feeling emotional, one of those rare moments:

PW:  Mama, do you love me? [*turn on the mushy music please*]

KG: Why do you ask?

PW: Wala lang. Parang sad ako eh. Ano, do you love me?

KG: Of course! Super doooper, as in super dooper dooper dooper…you can’t count the super dooper!

PW [with very happy eyes]: ….Mama, tumalsik laway mo sa cheeks ko.

Boink! Stop the music please!

One moment we were up; the next, everything was normal again, and the world was where it should be!

Have a great week everyone!

Not known to many is that I have another daughter. I actually have twins.

Read the rest of this entry »

To ALL the mothers out there

may you be the small type, the big type, the fiery type, or the meek type…

may you be the one who loves to cook and eat or be the one taking an appetite suppressant…

may you be the one who loves to dress up or the one who’s the dress-down type…

Whatever type of mother you are, one thing is for sure:

YOU ALWAYS STRIVE TO BE THE BEST MOTHER!

This day is for you!

Special greetings to my mother blogger friends [you know who you are!]!

I realize that my last post was soooo gory (to exagerate it), so my post today is on the lighter side of life! Ha!

Princess Wendy recently opened a bank account of her own…with 4,000 pesos of initial savings. She was proud for the first few days, which was understandable because of all the excitement (after all, it was her ipon). But after a while, it still was not over. Wendy would still try to sneak in “4,000 pesos” in some conversations.

PW: Mama, paglaki ko magtatayo ako two restaurants: one for rich people and one for street children. Syempre, free for the street children.

KG: Wow! That’s good! Pero san mo kukunin money for the restaurant for the street children? Eh di sila magbabayad?

PW: Sa binabayad ng rich people!

KG: Eh san mo kukunin panggastos mo sa restaurant for rich people?

PW: Hmmmm…e di yung 4,000 pesos ko!

****

KG [while driving home from PW's school]: Wendy, look oh, pink house! Ang ganda ano?

PW: Yes, for sale yan dati eh.

KG:  Talaga?

PW: Yes. Bakit di natin binili?

KG: May pambili ka?

PW: Yung 4,000 pesos ko!

****

KG’s brother: Wends, miss mo na Hong Kong?

PW: Yes! Balik tayo lahat!

KG’s brother: Sige, libre mo kami?

PW: Oo naman! May 4,000 pesos ako!

****

Apparently, for her 4,000 pesos = 1 million pesos (which I wish were true), thus the high chin and “I-have-4,000-pesos” attitude.

Kids!

****

Anyway, just want to share something that goes to show that when parents are desperate, they can do anything!

This is the hula skirt I made for PW…from scratch! I was so desperate because I couldn’t find one, and she needed one tomorrow! Nahalughog ko na ata lahat ng mall…pati Bicutan market wala din. And when I left Divisoria empty-handed, I knew I was in trouble. Text brigade gave zero results! So, I thought to my self, deperate times call for desperate measures. I put the matter into my own “hands.” And this is the result. Who knew my hands could do something like this?

Happy weekend everyone!

This entry was orginally posted at kumarenggrace.i.ph.