[I wrote this entry last week, supposedly in time for Mother's day. However, because of the hacking incident, I wasn't able to publish it. Not wanting my writing to go to waste, I am publishing it now. I know it's not too late to greet all mothers, especially my friends.]

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Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried payments in my field, since the payment is full love.

Mildred B. Vermont

The first time I knew I was a “different” kind of mother was when Wendy was starting to walk. While other mothers patiently follow their children, with arms ready to catch their child if they should stumble, all I did was watch from a distance. I rarely ran over to help Wendy stand up when she fell. I let her discover the skill of walking on her own. Yes, mean me, I let her stumble, I let her fall. But you know what? Looking back, I realize that she learned to walk real fast!

Through the years, I noticed some weird way in the way I was a mother. I let Wendy play in the grass, in the dirt, in the rain. I stopped sterilizing her bottles when she was just months old! I let her drink tap water. I don’t let her drink medicine for such simple sickness like coughs and cold. And lately, when she was older, whenever she tells me “Mama, ayoko na mag-school,” I would respond, “Ok. Next year di ka na mag-e-enrol.” And at such a young age, I already let her be independent. Cases in point: ever since she was in kinder, she prepares for school by herself; and whenever she has a regimen for her skin allergy (eg, lotion first, then a topical medication, then another topical medication,then an oral medication, in that order), she does it by herself. I often refuse to fuss over her.

And to think that Wendy is an only child.

Some might view this as neglect and say, ano ba namang klaseng nanay yan? I would like to stress that it is not. I love Wendy very much and this is my way of being a mother to her.

I guess that one of the most important things I learned in my being a mother for 9 years [such a short time compared with millions of mothers] is that NO ONE should tell you how to raise your child. There are no black and white rules for being a mother [or a parent]. There might be guides and well-meaning people, but at the end of the day, we are the ones raising our children, and we are responsible for them. We eventually choose how to raise them.

There are different kinds of mothers: the loving, gentle one; the firm, disciplining one…the overprotective…the “parang kabarkada ko lang ang mother” ko type…the type you are ashamed of [remember when you were a teenager, when you don't want to be associate with your mom?]…the cool one…the loud type…the domesticated one…and many others.

However, no matter what kind of a mother you are, who will be the one your child will run to whenever he/she runs into trouble? Who will there to stay up late when your child is sick? Who will be there for your child’s first heartache and to wipe away the tears? Who will be the proudest person when your child achieves something? Who will be the one to love your child unconditionally? YOU! You know why? Because deep in the core of your being, you are a mother.

So now, whenever I see Wendy doing well in school, being nice to other people, or carrying out the values I try to instill in her, I feel satisfied with my being a mother. And whenever she tells me, every day and every night, that she loves me, I know I’m doing the right thing.

I’ll be gone for the weekend, so allow me to greet all mothers:

Bad news: My site (and Rico’s) was hacked.

Good news: Rico has fixed it! [Galing!]

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Good news: All my posts were retrieved! [Hay, salamat talaga Rico!]

Bad news: All pictures are gone and I have to put them all back again! [Aawww]

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Good news: I can start again to rebuild this site.

Bad news: I am short on time these next few weeks.

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Bad news: I have now experienced one of the scariest things that the Internet [and technology] has to offer. Sad.

Best news: You, my blogger friends, are very understanding. Diba?And I know that you will not give up on me in the next moths as I [slowly] rebuild my site.

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Yes, it’s very disappointing. But I’m happy that not everything is lost. So please bear with me for the next few weeks. I am not technologically knowledgeable, so it may take a while for me to regroup.

But I’m feeling optimistic!

“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”

Henry Brooks Adams

When I was young, I wanted to be a lot of things: toll attendant, cashier, a conductor in a bus (don’t you love the way they tear up those tickets?), a bagger in the supermarket (nothing grand like being a doctor or lawyer). But the one ambition I’ve had for too long was becoming a teacher.

As a child, my intentions were not that noble. I wanted to be a teacher because I wanted many gifts during Christmas. Remember how our Grades 1 and 2 teachers brought home boxes of gifts during Christmas? But then I transitioned to wanting to become a teacher because what they did was cool! I even had a blackboard (I loved writing on blackboards then), chalk, posters, grade book (with all those squares for the scores), even cartolina for stuff to paste on the board. During that time, my students were my stuff toys; if not, they would be my two younger sisters.

The ambition has waned, but it’s still there. Up to now, I still dream of being in the academic setting, teaching. It’s no wonder that my first job after graduation involved teaching children. Even now, when my sister (who is an accountant) and I talk about back-up career, we know where we want to be: teaching.

But it’s not all about Christmas gifts and blackboards anymore. As you age, you find that your purpose in wanting a specific job becomes noble. As for me, I simply want to help children and make a difference in this world, if only small.

Needless to say, up to now, I haven’t fulfilled my dream of becoming a teacher.

With much reflection though, aren’t we all teachers on a certain level? Haven’t we, as individuals, been capable of helping other people and making a difference in this world? When I tell Wendy to say “please” and “thank you,” am I not teaching her to be polite? When I tell a friend to stand up after making a big mistake, am I not teaching her that life goes on and that we must face it with strength? When I laugh, am I not sending a message to the people around me that life is to enjoyed? And when I share happiness, am I not making a difference?

I realized that we don’t need to be teachers to teach and to make a difference. In our everyday lives, we are actually given the opportunity to teach somebody and leave an impression. We just need to be the human beings that we are. We just need to put into action the basic values of being human: love and kindness. And that will make all the difference in the world.

PS: My respect for teachers hasn’t changed though. I still consider them heroes.

I was “daydreaming” the other day, thinking of the many things that amaze me:

• Underwater hotels. How in the world do they build that? And gosh, isn’t that amazing?

• The sky. When you gaze up at the stars and the sky and realize that we are but a very tiny speck in the world, that you can go on, and on, and on into the galaxy and never find the end, it really becomes amazing!

• The Internet. Yes, it’s amazing to me how you can send a file, with words, pictures, and the works, from one computer thousands of miles away to another!

• Airplanes. How does something that heavy fly?

• Our amazing world and its beauty!

And the most amazing thing of all for me:

• Babies. Isn’t it amazing how a human being is formed from an egg cell and a sperm cell? From an egg, a head, arms, legs, and a body form! From a cell, a brain, a heart, lungs, a stomach, livers, a kidney, and others, are formed? Super amazing! [Isn't God such a wonder?]

Truly amazing ano?

(Note: Click picture for source.)

With the current crisis we are facing [or about to face] regarding the shortage of energy and water, I think it is time we open our eyes to the reality that we need to do something about it. Each and every one of us.

You know what? I honestly believe that there will be no shortage if we all just used these resources prudently. We may think that we are just one person, that we are insignificant. But in reality, we are like a drop of water in a basin that our actions will create a ripple. It’s the truth.

If you are not a firm believer of social responsibility, then at least save energy and water for selfish reasons, like doing it for yourself or your families.

If you don’t know where to start, the links below can be very helpful:

Energy:

Saving Energy

20 Things You Can Do to Save Energy

Quick Ways to Save on Electricity

Water:

Save Water: 49 Ways

25 Ways to Save Water at Home and Yard

Let us all do our part, no matter how small. If we put together all our “small” efforts, it will make a huge difference!

Yes, I am back…but not exactly in the groove. I have had hardly any sleep, plus I got sick today!

I just wanted to say hello to everyone and to share a little incident.

Remember this? I was hoping that was the last one. Pero it comes in threes nga siguro [as Shie also suggested].

Two Saturdays ago, I was the lucky recipient of a new cell phone courtesy of my father’s retention plan in Smart. My mother not really gave it to me, but she sold it to me really cheap.  Anyway, I was mulling over what to do with my old, reliable, cute cell phone: sell it or keep it.

But before I could even think about it, I lost it at the airport [NAIA 3] last Monday, before our flight. Somebody must have picked it and kept it because when I asked Rico to ring it, cannot be reached na. Of all the luck! Bad trip talaga!!!

Imagine, I have never lost a cell phone my entire life. In addition, my brother insisted on transferring all my contacts, messages, and calendar entries to the new phone that same morning, even though I keep on telling him, “pagbalik ko na lang!” But he said, “Ngayon na!” Ayun, buti na lang nailipat lahat! If not, I would have lost all my contact numbers. Imagine…mukhang pinaghandaan!

My sister summed it well for me: Nagtampo ang phone mo dahil may kapalit na sya!!

Well, that’s life. The good thing is that incident did not set the mood for our trip!

Anyway, that’s it for now. My stomach is rumbling again!

Singapore and KL posts coming soon!

I will visit your sites soon!!!

Do you feel that, sometimes, nang-aasar ang buhay?

I do!

Take what happened to me today for instance. Last night, my brother took my jack from my car. I was pleading him not to take it. But saying he badly needed it, and after assuring me that it would be replaced the next day na [which is today], I gave in. As if may choice ako! But I wasn’t comfortable driving knowing I had no jack!!!

And guess what? Today, of all days, NAFLATAN po ako! Aaarghhh! I wanted to shout to the heavens, “nang-aasar ba kayo!” But thank God for Rico, who lent me his jack, and for an office mate; both helped the damsel in distress change the tire!

Anyway, why am I telling you this? Kasi naman, there was a message in our bulletin board here in our phase [our village is made up of different phases, ie, Phase 1, Phase 2, etc] that I wanted to share with you. It has been there since the start of this year pa. I’ve been wanting to write a post about it but never had the chance to get a photo of it. So this afternoon, I finally said, I have to take a picture NOW! So I got my camera and walked to the gate. But guess what? Nabura na po! Nabura na po! Are you kidding me!?! I knew it was there this morning, before I went to work, because I remember reading it and telling myself that I’ve got to take a picture of it this afternoon!

The white space is where the original message was written.

Haaay! Pinagtritripan ba ako ng mga elemento?

Anyway, not wanting my efforts to go to waste,  I tried my best to recapture what the message was [thanks to editing programs] and share with you what I was meaning to share in the first place.

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Notice the added YEHEY!? Funny!

That’s why when buying a house in Paranaque, ask about the water condition first! And water tanks are a necessity, not a luxury!

Ganyan kami dito sa Paranaque (sabik sa tubig)!

PS, I hope that the erased message will be the last “trick” that life plays on me for a long time! He he!

For the past few days, I’ve had a recurring dream again that I’ve had in the past few years. The scenes are different, but the idea was the same. [I wonder how I can remember most dreams so vividly! Is this a skill?]

So, these past few days, in my dreams, I am back in college, and it was always the first day of school. My friends/housemates and I always had a new apartment, and I would be going home from class to that new apartment. Of course, in each dream, the new apartments would be different, but the main characters [my real housemates] and the scenario [if not for a few minor differences] were all the same! I remember scrutinizing the new apartment in my dreams, looking at our things, and wondering how seve women can fit in such a space. We had so many stuff! However, in the end, we would find a way to fix the place so that it would be habitable. And then we would go on with our own business attending classes. [For those of you who do not know, I indeed lived in an apartment for my entire my college life, with the same housemates all throughout.]

It was freaky because I would dream of the same thing on different days!

I won’t go trying to decipher what these dreams are telling me because am really not the one to interpret dreams for the following reasons:

• Simply because I do not know how!
• And if I do try, I know I will tend to “believe” in dreams when they are in my favor. In short, pag maganda ang “message,” that’s when I will believe that the dream was trying to tell me something!
  

Anyway, freaky or not, at least it’s a great dream diba? The other recurring dream I have is being able to swim, as in magaling daw ako magswimming [which is, in reality, not the case], which, I could say, leaves me a great feeling when I wake up. At least, even in my dreams, magaling ako magswimming! In addition, I have fun recounting my dreams to anyone who would listen, especially when the person was in my dreams!

In any case, I love to have dreams while sleeping. It surely beats having a black and colorless sleep.

Someday, when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them. Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world!

While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.

She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what’s wrong with the world today. It just doesn’t have enough mean moms!

(Taken from an e-mail to me)

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Touche!

PS, Belated happy birthday to my mother, who, for all intents and purposes, fits the above-mentioned description. For that, I thank her with all my heart. And you know what, I think I’m also becoming a Mean Mom!

I love churches. Spirituality aside, I love looking at the different designs of churches, especially the old ones, those made with stones and bricks. And though I am not an architect nor even have a background, I enjoy observing and analyzing the architectural aspect of the way churches are made. I believe that some of the greatest architectural masterpieces are churches;  think Sagrada Familia, St. Peter’s Basilica, Notre Dame [in Paris], or, to name a few in our country, San Agustin Church, Paoay Church [amazing!], and Maigao Church .

I guess it all started with my parents. Whenever we had a trip/vacation, churches were always in our itinerary. In addition, Visita Iglesia has been a tradition in our family for many years. Thus, I have been exposed to so many churches through the years [a few of which are shown below].

Calaruega

Ilocos

Lumban, Laguna

Liliw, Laguna

Lucban, Quezon

Roxas City

Basilique de Sacre Coeur [Paris, France]

Basilica of the Immaculate Conception [Lourdes, France]

Sagrada Familia [Barcelona, Spain]

St. Peter’s Basilica [Vatican City]

Recently, as I was praying in an unlikely place, I realized something very important. With all the different churches I’ve been to, whether it was in Zamboanga or in Davao or Cebu, or whether it was in Italy, Spain, or France [thousands of miles away from home], or even in the temples of Bangkok, no matter where in the world I was, every time I kneel down, make the sign of the cross, and start praying, I was always praying to and speaking with the SAME, ONE God. What a comforting thought! It also made me realize that whoever we may be, whatever our religion, it doesn’t matter. We are praying to THE supreme being, whoever we believe our God is. Galing ano?

On top of that, I also realized that, at the end of the day, when all I need is to talk with God, I would prefer the small, simple, deserted church over the grand, popular, “tourist”  church any day.